Bryce Dallas Howard's personal post-partum journey was heartbreaking

ryce Dallas Howard was 25-years-old when she discovered she was pregnant with her first child, Theo, who is now 15. At the time, she had been married for just seven days to her husband, Seth Gabel and she reveled in carrying their firstborn.  MORE: Bryce Dallas Howard dazzles in bold gown for red carpet appearance  However, things took a dramatic and heartbreaking turn after he was born as the Jurassic Park: Dominion actress later recalled how she battled debilitating post-partum depression.

WATCH: Bryce Dallas Howard celebrates birthday in beautiful setting  While she initially described it as being like she was "in a black hole," or a "nightmare," she later confessed that those descriptions made her cringe. Opening up to GOOP, Bryce wrote a candid essay about her own experience in the hopes of helping others.  MORE: Bryce Dallas Howard is unrecognizable in epic birthday throwback 

RELATED: Adele saved best friend's life following postpartum psychosis The mom-of-two - she also has a daughter, Beatrice, ten - said that everything was fine until Theo was born and, "I felt nothing," she wrote. While everyone else cooed over her newborn, Bryce said: " I had no impression of my own."

Bryce loved being pregnant but things changed after the birth of her first child Returning home from hospital was no better, in fact, things began to get worse, especially when left on her own. Breastfeeding was such a challenge at one point the pain was so bad Bryce admitted, she felt like she was going to die.

READ: Postpartum psychosis - the crippling mental health illness as explained by Laura Dockrill "For the sake of those around me, including my son, I pretended," Bryce revealed. "But when I began showering again in the second week, I let loose in the privacy of the bathroom, water flowing over me as I heaved uncontrollable sobs."